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Wooden Nickel: Things I Never Thought I'd Say

November 18, 2020
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Things I never thought I’d say 30 years ago:

I need to water the lawn; where’s my phone?

Flying cars still don't exist.

I love your mask; where can I get one like yours?

Wait, the guy from The Apprentice??

We still fill our cars with gasoline and it is still $2 a gallon!

I'm summoning a complete complete stranger by phone so I can pay him to drive me to the airport in his own car.

I have to wait until tomorrow to have my flowers flown in from Chile

Pluto hasn't been a planet for years

Almost nobody gets a daily newspaper

I don’t need a wallet or cash

My home and my phone have no relation to each other

I haven’t made a “long-distance” call in 10 years.

We have just now gotten our first woman Vice President.

I’m going to a gender-reveal party!

People stare at phones all day long and nobody assumes they are insane

All music is free...

All TV costs money...

A robot in my kitchen talks to me, but it turns out that it’s not very smart.

Canada and Europe are closed to Americans.

Anybody can instantly get access to any fact that is or ever has been known by humanity, for free.  Unfortunately this hasn’t made us any smarter.

My beard is getting a little long.

That’s the grocery store at the door. Where’s my mask?

What time are we Zooming with your brothers on Thanksgiving?

Hold on; I’ll Google a YouTube of that scene of the movie we watched 30 years ago.

Which kind of milk should I get, soy or almond?

I can’t believe it’s been four years since the Cubs won the World Series.

The LA Rams moved to St. Louis, won the Super Bowl, and then moved back to LA.

I went to the office for the first time in four months.